The Better Me Project

At a training session a couple weeks ago, an idea was brought up, involving grade school gold star charts and the pursuit of becoming a better and more well-rounded person. The more I thought about about it, the more I dismissed it. The concept was pretty simple- pick a group of things, make a chart, every day you do it put a star up. Where it got interesting is the guys who did it posted their star charts on a daily basis on Facebook, using their friends to motivate them.

That is what captivated me. People were actually following along, enjoying their progress, helping them out however they could- whether it was through phone calls, or facebook messages, or text....there were people out there who cared enough to keep them on task, keep them moving toward their goal. The goal wasn’t perfection, it was just a constant pursuit of becoming a better person.

I began to consider how I could tailor a program like that for me. I know there’s a lot I need to change and a lot of ways to improve the situations around me. I have also known that for the past year or so, my main source of inspiration and contact with most of my friends, family, and so on is through social media. So putting the two together just started to make a lot of sense.

For those of you who don’t know, for the past two years I’ve been dealing with pretty bad cases of Social and General Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Depression. I’m really not ashamed of it anymore, though I once was. Part of the process of fighting it is admitting it in public. Its nothing to be ashamed of and it happens to a lot more people than you think. It took two years for me to really come to grips with it and not be afraid to talk about it in public. It actually took until three weeks ago when I had a sit down with somebody who had similar problems that I finally came to terms with it and overcoming it.

The past two years have been a constant struggle of ups and downs. I let it all get so bad that it messed with the electrical chemistry of my heart, complicating everything by creating random heart palpitations/arrhythmia. Which then just made the process cyclical- I’d overcome a lot of anxiety, depression, etc. and as soon as things started to improve, my heart would react in an odd way and it would toss me back down the slope, only to start things over again. Imagine, if you will, you’re in the middle of a crowded bar of about 500 people with 6 of your friends and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, your heart starts pumping at about 200 beats per minute for ten seconds and nothing you can do will stop it. Or, imagine if you’re sitting down with a friend, having a random conversation about nothing in particular and you feel your heart start to hiccup...one second it’s a really strong beat that makes your entire body tingle.....the next its a really soft beat and you have to wonder if you’re heart is about to stop beating.

That’s what I’ve dealt with over the past two years. I let it affect me significantly. I’d stay in when everyone went out. I cut myself off from a LOT of people to avoid talking about it. There would be times where I would just get out to be with friends and have an episode...and I’d have to make up an excuse to leave immediately. It was a significant hindrance upon life in general.
These past couple months, I’ve been fed up of letting it dictate who I am and what I do. I’ve fought by myself for almost two years now and clearly the results are not what I had hoped.

Enter the BMP. The idea behind it is to use measurable goals to fight it and attempt to become a better person, better worker, better friend, better son, etc. I’ve spent two years hiding from a lot of things out of fear, but I want to use this Project as a way to put myself back out there and make positive changes.

The name, the Better Me Project, has a two-fold definition. First, obviously, is the desire to better me. I want to lay down guidelines that will make life better, will better educate me, will allow me to better help other people. At the same time, I need YOUR help. I need you to better me. I need you to keep me on my toes. I’m setting measurable goals that I came up with that I think will make me better. I need you to set goals as well. What do you think I need to do to become better? Where do you think I’m lacking and what goals would you set that you’d like to see me complete?

Over the next 30 days, I’m going to give this a shot. This is the trial-run of the BMP. To see if I can do it and to see how many people can reach out to help make a difference. I encourage you to take the idea and run with it. Even if you think you’ve already got a good grasp on everything, there’s always room to improve.

I’m going to use my blog as my daily updater. Part of the goal is to start writing more. I’ve always told people I love to write and would love to get paid to write, but there has never been any follow through.

GOAL 1: Update my blog on a daily basis.

I love to read. I love to read many different genres. I think reading randomly is the best way to learn and retain knowledge. Going to college completely turned me off from reading because the textbooks would put me to sleep.

GOAL 2: At least 6 books completed in 30 days.

I picked out a random assortment of books for my 30 day period. Books I may not normally read. I encourage you to do the same.

My books:
Freakonomics by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman
Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

Again, random assortment- from women’s lit to fiction to business networking to pop culture.

Because of my heart, I’ve had a real problem convincing myself that getting back into the gym was a worthwhile venture, for fear of keeling over and dying on the spot.

GOAL 3: 14 days straight of at least 30min worth of cardio

I’ve also used the excuse that because of my job as a consultant and constant road travels, eating healthy and watching my calories was impossible.

GOAL 4: 7 days straight of eating no more than 2,000 calories

I’ve also become averse to meeting new people. While I was never the best at it, I could at least do it when push came to shove.

GOAL 5: Create random interactions

I don’t mean randomly introduce myself to people on the street. What I mean by random interactions is striking up conversations with co-workers when I might actually just walk by them. Smile at people while I’m in an elevator instead of stare forward like a zombie. Say please, thank you, and create conversation with people when in stores or waiting in line.

Those are my five goals. The basic start of the BMP. If you have more or want to add on, I NEED you to do so.

This is a constant pursuit. I’m going to constantly need help. YOUR help. There are tons of mini goals to meet attached to the big ones, such as cutting out pop to meet the 2k calorie mark, or staying away from the TV or PS3 to keep reading, or to push my ass out of the house to get to the gym.

Here are my email addresses: mhart@ato.org michael86hart@gmail.com

Here are both of my cell phone numbers: (216)702-8027 (317)514-9291

Be relentless. If you don’t see a blog post for a day (within reason, 6am phone calls and Goal 3 may involve tracking you down and killing you), call or text me and ask me what’s going on. Ask me if I’ve been keeping up.

The title of my blog has been “Lost in Sleep” for the longest time because for the past two years I have felt like I’ve been in a constant sleep. Life has just drifted by and there hasn’t been much I could do to catch up and wake up.

My hope is that with your help and the BMP, I can change that and in doing so, not only change my life for the better, but hopefully make a positive impact on yours.





It is time for me to wake up and reassert control.

If I can step out of my comfort zone and do this, why can’t you?

Good luck to all of us!